What Men Are Saying

Since this is V-day week, I wanted to do something involving men, but something that was also fun and a little out of the ordinary. So I thought I would get some feedback from random men. Originally, I wanted to do a panel, but then I thought that they would not really divulge their real feelings when sitting face to face with a natural woman. So instead, I decided to ask 25 random men what are their first thoughts on natural hair. I sampled men from various backgrounds in person, over the phone and via social outlets like Facebook and Myspace. Some of these men I know, most of them were just random, or friends of friends. I did not want to give them time to think so I asked for the first thought that came to mind. My question was as follows: "What is your first thought when you see a women with natural or curly hair?"

I also promised anonymity, so I will only use the first name, age, and occupation (if they provided) so we can get a feel of what kind of men we are dealing with. Here's what I got in response to my question:

"I really like women with natural hair. It tells me that they are confident and I like confident women" -Kevin, 37 Sales Manager/Contractor in Iraq

"Low maintenance" Tim, 43 Investor

"Sexy as hell" Ponthius, 20 Student

"It's alright!. I really don't care what kind of hair they have as long as it looks nice" Jeremy, 32 Police Officer

"But I like girls with long weave" Jeff, 21 Student (I think he was joking...but I don't know)

"Personally, I like it when it look like that the Top Model Chick, Bre. But it's cool either way" Darryl, 36 Music Executive

"Natural like Macy Gray or like Kelis? There's a big difference" Chris, 16 Student

"It's cool. I've dated lots of women with natural hair" Marcus, 27 Grad Student

"It looks smart and cultured" Eric, 26 Sales

"As long as it doesn't look crazy man, like an afro and..." Chris, 24 Unemployed

"I think it's cool as long as I can run my fingers through it" Russell, 29 Recently laid off but wanted me to add, "gainfully looking for a employment, if anyone is hiring".

"I like it when they have on those teacher glasses with natural hair. That's a real turn on" Zac, Personal Trainer

"Man, it's a turn on" Lem, (age unknown) Construction

"I like to hear the story behind the hair" Trey, 43 Writer

"My girlfriend is natural" Keith, 28 Store Manager

"Can't get their hair wet" Man (really that's what he said his name was), 26 Record store owner

"I can let my car windows down when she's in the car" Khan 36, Self employed

"Nah, I don't like it" Mike, 23

"I'm usually attracted to women with straight hair, but I'm open. What's your number?" McCoy 28 (I couldn't keep a straight face)

"Oh, that's what's up" Joe, 34 Grad Student (NY, I must add)

"My wife has curly hair, so it's sexy as hell to me" Lawrence, Musician

"Milkshake" Ahmed, gas station

The other three said the same thing, "It's cool".

It was so much fun getting this feedback and knowing what men are really saying and/or thinking. I did not want to give them time to think about it. I just wanted it to know their honest opinions. And for the most part, I think I got it. What do you think about the men comments? I'll see you in the comment section.
24 Responses:

I really enjoyed this post! For the most part, their responses had me laughing and smiling. Especially, McCoy asking for your number. lol

I find that for the most part, men are cool w/it and find it very attractive and sexy.

Thanks for doing this! We being a minority in the masses as far as hair is concerned do need to hear this. And maybe, this will motivate other women to free themselves from using chemicals.

I truly appreciate this post! Lol..Khan's was my fav...how he can roll down the windows in the car.

I'm delighted to see more positive than negative. Sometimes it's difficult to find men who appreciate a natural woman..especially while in college.

Great post!

Miracles & Blessings

This is so cool, great post. Nice to see what men have to say. I've been natural for 8 months and I have yet to have someone comment negatively about my hair.

Great post, very interesting! Seems some of the men have the same thoughts about natural hair as women do (those of us who have had relaxer or synthetic hair in our heads since we can remember). Me personally, before making the decision to transition and go natural I conjured up images of unmanaged and wild woolly hair. And that's not the case! I mean if you want that particular look it is definitely attainable, however natural hair can be so much more than that stereotypical image many of us are/have been guilty of picturing when we think of natural hair.

I really liked and appreciated this post. i too have received great responses to my natural hair and it's from other women where I see negativity not men. Hmmmm....

I loved that panel. It's nice to hear honestly opinions especially from males about natural hair. I've noticed since I rocked my natural, I'm approached more by men of other races (white, hispanic, etc) and hardly ever by my own race. My "friend"(black male) does love it and I guess that's why I've always been so secure with it.

I do know that even at work alot of the black males I work with had to get used to it, and now they give me compliments, I hope I'm able to open them up more to different types of hair, rather than the long weaves that they normally see..

Thanks for the Post UC!

For me, not many black men come to me when my hair is in it's natural state, however, men of other races come quick!! When my hair is straight, black men come quick, and the men of other races hardly come at all.

for sum reason i assumed slightlty dat men want da sleek weave but it's pretty impressive they proved me wrong...its quite a positive feeback from da looks of things

This post came right on time. I'm actually transitioning at this point. Not really 2nd guessing my decision but just need the extra push.

Its really intresting to read the other post that men outside of our race approach natural women.

I'll be taking that journey so maybe I'll find out.

Thanks UC.

Like some of the others have said, I'm glad the positive outweighed the not-so-positive. Its nice to know that there are men that dig the waves, curls and kinks in our hair.

Thanks for the post! It was interesting seeing that majority of the men don't really seem to care - - I think its us women who have the problem with it.
Thanks again, I'll come back to the post on those days that the curls don't act right : )

Great post and so refreshing.

Like other posters, I've had nothing but positive experiences from men since being natural and only one negative but he and his brother were discussing my hair and bickering about one liking it while the other did not. I could care less about the one that did not because he definitely wasn't the type of man that I'm attracted to anyway. LOL

It definitely takes a sister with confidence, class and a positive attitude to rock natural hair and a strong black male to compliment her style.

These answers are the usual answers I hear from different men.

Interesting. I've always thought men liked lace fronts, and weaves. Since that's mostly the type of women they go for.

Great post! I feel that men are attracted to confidence. I've been natural for about 2 months and have not received any negative comments when I wear my hair out. Men of all races holla. I had a strange white brotha tell me he luved my hair and proceeded to touch it before he walked off! Wasn't feelin that, LOL, but goes to show men luv our natural/kurly hair. It's all about confidence.

"I think it's cool as long as I can run my fingers through it.

I almost fell out of my chair laughing at work when I read that one.

It was interesting to see varying opinions. I get a little more attention from men in general with my growing curly fro, I'm guessing because I stand out more (and it adds more height to my 6' tall self). I've also found that when it comes down to it, most men don't really care what your hair looks like as long as it's not dirty/bird nesty; you're happy with it; and you don't bug them to death about it.

Nonetheless, it just shows that one's decision to go natural cannot be rooted in anything else but their own desires and opinions.

I like this post too..I mean some of the answers were really hype but I love it because its they are being honest. Great post UC!

The responses were really interesting.. since relocating from NY to NC I have noticed thatI don't turn as many brothers heads as I did in NY. I am getting the feeling that most brothers in NC are not cool with sistas rockin the Natural/Curly look.. But I will continue to show my confidence and rock my curls..

Hey there,

As mentioned by 2 other readers, I also don't attract many BM with my natural (4a/4b) hair but it's a different story with non-BM.

When I wore my hair in spirals a few weeks ago (thanks to Curlformers), I got a lot of attention from BM.

lol!! great post!!! great idea!

ok, for some reason, the most hilarious thing to me is the unemployed dude saying, "as long as it doesn't look crazy."


i like this post for the range of answers that you got. (LOL @ the dude trying to holla) In the end, it's at least nice to know that mindsets are changing and it isn't totally a matter of straight hair or nothing.

Am I the only one who noticed how most men don't mind curls-like anything in the "3" range. While most men are grossly turned off by the "Macy Gray", aka 4a, 4b, 4c. ESPECIALLY if it is not flat ironed or pressed? Maybe its just me.

this was really interesting. i notice that no matter what your hair looks like, if you carry yourself with confidence and a have on a high heel you'll get a lot of attention. lol! :)

"Am I the only one who noticed how most men don't mind curls-like anything in the "3" range. While most men are grossly turned off by the "Macy Gray", aka 4a, 4b, 4c. ESPECIALLY if it is not flat ironed or pressed? Maybe its just me."

I looked at the trend in answers like this, and attribute it to maturity. The older men-30 and up seemed to automatically prefer natural-where as the younger had stipulations. I have to agree with what someone above mentioned-I got a good measure of attention when I wore my long lacefront, but I find more non-american men do double takes now that I'm just wearing my kinky-curly brastrap length hair in a huge puffy pony tail. They ask me where I'm from. Also I must add, my boyfriend (who seemed to forget I had hair underneath that lacefront) was almost demanding that I shave my head in an effort to be more natural and more daring like what is going in Hollywood, complaining about the wig a few weeks ago. I've since been wearing my natural hair he said I looked beautiful and hasn't said a word about the shaved head foolywang since!

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