You Might be a Hair Nazi When...

What Is A Natual Hair Nazi-A natural hair Nazi is a person or group of people who have converted to natural hair and are so pro-natural that they sometimes offend others with their actions.
You know, we've all seen them policing message boards, blogs, youtube, etc. correcting or challenging every product suggestion, styling tip that is given. Calling people out because they straighten their hair. Denouncing another's natural status because of the the products they use.
We all have been guilty of this at one time or another. I am the first to admit, I am guilty of one or two of the below offenses but, trust me, I'm recovered.

This list was comprised by a few natural friends and co-workers yesterday and is meant for pure comedy, not to offend anyone. But then again if you are offended, then you just may be...LOL.

You Just Might Be A Hair Nazi-

1. When your entire t-shirt wardrobe consists of t-shirts that say "Relaxers are evil", "Uck relaxers", "Afro power", etc.

2. If you wanted to throw a bat at your $1000 TV after watching the Tyra show about natural hair

3. When you won't use product containing ingredients like mineral oil, lauryl-sulfate, silicone, etc, but still eat Big Macs for lunch everyday

4. When you give complete strangers (unsolicited) hair advice telling them what they should/should not do with their own hair

5. When you have more organic products in your bathroom than in your kitchen

7. When your favorite song is "I am not my hair" by India Arie

8. When you constantly attacking Miss Jessie's, Deva Curl, and other's about the ingredients in their products

9. When you post a 10 minute youtube video attacking other vloggers because you disagree with their advice or hair tips

10. When you attack other natural girl's authenticity because they use certain products or styling method or try to establish a curl pattern
I know I missed out on a few, so feel free to add some in the comments.
20 Responses:

3 and 5 are very true. Body health should be superior and will ultimately equate to hair health.

I am definitely guilty of no. 3! Hopefully my body will be as healthy as my hair one day! :)

You hit it on the head. Thumbs up!

I am guilty of a few but i am getting better...

I will say that going natural has forced me to look at my entire life and whereas going natural is a process so is changing all the bad habits. Since I have gone natural I workout more, I drink more water (or at least feel bad when I don't) and I eat better.

#7, Thank God I've recovered!

Definitely guilty of number 1 & 8. But the t-shirts are my way of letting people know that I am comfortable with my hair and that YOUR suggestions that it would look better straight are unwarranted. As much as "Nappy Nazi's" may hate, it is minuscule in comparison to all the hate we naturals experience on a daily basis. Or maybe just in my experience! LOL

LMAO..i am only guilty of number 8 because i was working at a BSS and people would tell me about certain ingredients, which would end up being true. i like miss jessies, they dont work on me because i have fine hair. devacurls cleansing products are the best..

Hey I'm guilty of #5 but I'm working on it :o) Your list is great - I just finished a piece on Natural Nazis wish I would have saw your list so I could have added it ;o)

How about when some of us act like we dont remember when we all got our "first perm" and wasnt swinging our hair around like we were caucasion. Come on yall know we were all guilty of that especially when it reached past our shoulders. Sometimes we forget that we played both sides of the fence and just because we are on this side doesnt mean we have to put the non natural sistas down. It doesnt make them have any less pride than we do...

LOL oh I was a horrible new natural:) My issue was that I had such an awakening to the fact that my hair is exactly the hair that God had given me, how he wanted it to be and just all of the beautiful options I had with my hair and how long I'd dumped chemicals on it to alter it.

Now I'm not as hardcore, try to let my head be the mouth piece on the natural topic and realize there are some women who perm not because they don't love their hair but they truly don't have the ability/time to care for their hair texture, at least think they don't and need to be taught.

Then I thought about how when I did perm/weave (and still will rock a weave if I want to change up, have locs so no straightening) I never did so to alter my texture knowingly. We as black women have our own style even in that so often I emulated the styles of other sisters and cuts that I hadn't even noticed women of other races rocked until attending beauty school and learning the techniques behind them.

So now I celebrate the fact that we do indeed have a ton of options...still hardcore about people who hate their hair texture but not as quick to assume that's why a person refuses/choses to go natural.

Priceless lol! I'm only guilty of number 3, but I'm slowly cutting fast food out of my diet.

Really liked the way that you compared hair product ingredients to the junk most (probably) of these Hair Nazis pour into their bodies. These people spend more time investigating chemicals in hair products, being critical of this that and the other but will still blog about their bad eating habits, their weight issues. Free your mind and the rest will follow.
Just imagine if these same people would spend time eating healthily, becoming more educated, financially fit (Black women spend more on hair products than any other ethnic group in the WORLD), imagine how our communities would look, all the great things we could achieve!
Natural, Relaxed, what difference does it make? DO YOU and apply the Golden Rule.

I don't have all the symptoms, but definitely #7 lol along with a few others. OMG! I think I'm a natural hair nazi!

I love India Arie's I am not my hair and I don't think a natural nazi would because part of the lyrics do say 'you can rock it straight like oprah winfrey'

Now I'm going to be singing this song all day!!

Actually not a fan of the India Arie song LOL and I used to be a hard core hair nazi now I'm just really guilty with number 3.Scrutinizing ingredients and tossing them that have miineral oil, petroleum,sls and als but choking down a triple cheese burger. Ahhh Wendy's LOL.

#10 bugs me. There are some hair boards where all discussion of curl patterns or defining curls are shut down. But I wonder if defined curls are indicators of healthy natural hair. Like maybe if our hair got the moisture it needs then it would have defined curls. Maybe its not supposed to be dry without definition. If we judge our hair care and styling by the standards of people without afro hair, then defining curls may seem unnatural. But maybe its the best thing for natually curly or coily hair. If hair with defined curls is healthier, more moisturixed, and with less breakage then maybe thats just taking good care of your hair and not making it unnatural, and not rejecting your natural curl pattern. Just my opinion.

I agree with all except #2. The story on natural hair was completely's offense to ANYONE who has any common sense about natural or relaxed hair. The panel was completely biased and ignorant. The stereotypes from ALL were represented. My boyfriend was even annoyed at the ignorance displayed. NOW..I wouldn't destroy my T.V. regardless. LOL Nothing's NEVER made me THAT mad!!! :P

Where is number 6? Lol.
But I too have been guilty of some of the things on the list. My sister kinda blasted me and I realized I needed to calm it down.

LOL! I have a problem when women with texturizers claim they have natural hair, it just gets under my skin. I have natural hair and I would say I rock weaves or braids 5 to 6 months out of the year, so I am not the one to judge. I have 4a hair which grows better when it's left alone, so I can't really judge anyone if they want to use harsher products on their hair. Do U! unless you have a texturizer!

I'm only guilty of no. 5. I have nearly eradicated every SLS, silicone product from my beauty care routine, most especially my toothpaste. If its not good for my hair it can't be good for the rest of me, full stop.

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