I Would Love To Talk With This Mother

I saw this video on Mediatakeout last night, and let's just say it made the migraine headache that I had been suffering with all day intensify. There are soooooo many things I would like to say to this mother. Too many to list here, but here are a few of my thoughts in response to this video:

1. First, let me comb your hair like that. That is just plain torture. My 3 year old has just as much hair as the little girl in this video, and she fights, screams, runs, etc. when I do her hair. Lawd knows, I want to scream with her and sometimes I do. But to hold her down and curse her out...NEVER.

2. See this is what's wrong with our society and why we have the complexes we have with hair. You are instilling self hate in the child by cursing at her and telling her that her hair is nappy. SMH. That is why I dislike the word nappy.

3. Please sit down and check out a few blogs/ websites about natural hair care before you rip all the poor child hair out and she ends up wearing weave like you. Caring for children's hair takes patience and a little creativity. First, you don't want to detangle dry hair. It's much easier to detangle freshly conditioned hair. Also, section the hair and detangle in sections. Also give the child a toy to keep her busy. I usually give my daughter a doll so that she can do the dolls hair. With that said...

4. Again, let me comb your hair like that, please. I can't believe you were pulling and tugging on that child's hair like that. And who was behind that camera? They need their hair combed like that too.

5. Just be glad that I don't know your name because after combing your hair just like that while restraining you, educating you, I will call authorities on you too. Because that was just dead a%$ wrong. I'm done!
Sigh. Ok, I've vented. I will turn it over to you ladies.
28 Responses:

Once I started to watch it, I wanted to turn it off b/c it was pissing me off so bad that this mother was just tugging at her daughter's hair...she wasn't brushing it she was tugging/pulling it with the paddle rush. You don't brush your dog's hair like that...otherwise they would attack.
I too had that hair when I was that age, but my mom DETANGLED my hair in bath/shower...WTF...this "mom" was just being abusive.
Don't get me started on the ignoramus holding the camera just egging the mother and lil girl on.

Its more than SMH...its so many letters...much more than this family blog. LOL


"nd she ends up wearing weave like you."

May I ask why a lot people think that if someone is wearing a weave that they have no hair underneath.?


That's horrible and unfortunately so typical both her language and the way she was dealing with her hair.

I was reading comments from a facebook friend's pic, she recently went natural and I thought I cannot believe how many comments people make like "oh I've thought about doing a natural but I can't give up the cream y crack" Or I went natural but couldn't style my hair or oooo girl that is going to grow so nice and look so good when you straigthen it.....seriously! Can we just realize that natural is what comes out of our heads and not some hairstyle!!

Sorry for venting:) But saying that to say this is exactly where it starts, not every mother cuss their kids out and my friends facebook friends thought they were saying all positive things but reflective so much of the negativity linked to simply wearing your hair naturally.


WTF! This mother is simply stupid, she hasn't got any good sense!
To be honest, I could not go after the video. For me, it's torture. Your child cries, suffers and you go without even trying a technique softer? This woman is simply stupid. She may not know how, but the fact that consciously she pull the hair of her kid shocks me. Another little girl who will be convinced that relaxing the hair is the only solution.
Shocking, simply shocking.

Please ladies, do not style your children hair when you do not have time.... Damn...


@Ebony,

I only said "and she will end up wearing a weave like the mother" because to make a point about self acceptance. With a mother shouting obscenities daily about a child's texture, the child will probably grow to hate her own texture and probably resort to wearing weave like the mother.

Let's keep it real, we all know that weave is probably the number one (maybe second to the relaxer) hair solution in our community-has been for decades. There is absolutely nothing wrong with wearing weave. But if we are educated from day one on how to take care of our own texture, love, appreciate, and not rip it out with brushes, combs, tight ponytails, chemicals, and the list goes on--we probably would as a whole, have less desire to wear weave. Because we would have our own flowing beautiful hair.

Bad enough, we have magazines, media, etc. instilling from day one that European(ish) texture is beautiful our texture is not. So for any mother to reinforce this message, is abuse in itself. We have to do better people.

I'm just saying if the mother keeps tugging at it the child's hair in the way she was, not only will the child never know how to careful detangle her hair, she is going to hate her hair and texture...and probably end up like one of those women on Tyra. lol

Education is power...


My jaw is on the floor. I had to turn it off after 2 minutes, I couldn't take such abuse.

I remember getting my hair combed and telling my mommy it hurt .. and then she began to section it off into smaller and smaller more manageable sections to make the detangling process easier for her and PAIN-FREE. Yes it took TIME, but my hair was beautiful and healthy. I feel like that should just be COMMON sense. Today, my younger cousins love getting their natural hair combed because we are GENTLE with their hair .. not crazy and yanking and tugging on it, beating the child like she stole something. This mother just needs to calm it down .. take some deep breaths and get it together.

this is PLAIN abuse!

ugh .. don't get me started on the language. I'm not a big fan of profanity no matter whom or what it is directed to. For it to be used when talking to a young child .. DISGUSTING.


Language aside (I'm at work and watching with no sound), this was really painful for me to watch, but definitely not as painful as it was for that little girl. What exactly is the purpose of her doing that to her child's hair? Detangling? Styling?....WTF! I see so much possibility for that child's hair and her mother is determined to rip it out with seemingly no real purpose in mind. I don't even know if I want to watch it with the sound on!


That was terrible. That woman is plain ignorant. Straight up. They need to call somebody on her.


I agree, this is really painful to watch and I couldn't watch it all. I don't believe in perming a child's hair, but if that girl can be in less pain, then I'm for it, because it doesn't look like that mom will ever take the time to properly detangle the girl's hair. Its really a shame.


((sigh))
that's sad. it hurt my feelings to see and hear it. I swear I felt some of my hair coming out...and im styling my hair to go to work now thinking "gosh, I'm lovin my natural." I don't have kids (i'm wayyyyyyyy to young) but i have nephews and a cousin (who is like my niece) this ish right here just broke my heart. I would be PISSED if someone did this to them.


at least the girl videotaping told the younger boy "your curly head is next"....she could have said nappy. Not that it makes up for her taunting...but a teensy tiny step in the right direction.


I couldn't stomach that. It's just wrong on so many levels. SMH.


I'm sorry I could not watch that ish for long. I wanted to beat her @ss so bad with that brush, just conk the ish outta her!

I'm so mad. I have an 11month old and I got really mad when my mom tried to comb her hair dry. I tell her nobody NO BODY TOUCHES her hair but me because I know how rough everyone is to hair that is coarse! My daughter's hair isn't coarse like mine but her hair is way curlier so you can't just comb through it. I take my time and i'm very gentle because that used to be me where that little girl sat. Only do it when wet and with lot of shampoo and I even apply a no more tangles spray on top. They had to nerve to call me tenderheaded..no you are heavy handed moveee!! LOL


oh my goodness.. that video was awful.. i only got through a few seconds.. this is such a shame.. :-\ some people shouldn't be allowed to have children...ever.


I hope someone recognized the people in this video and calls child protective services because this is abuse. What an idiot that mother is. She's even swearing at her daughter. The camera person is equally an idiot for laughing and condoning the behaviour. What a moron that she couldn't figure out holding the hair at the roots would take the pressure off. She didn't section the hair and it is dry and she is brushing it for some reason making it even bigger. She really needs to read Teri's blog at tightlycurly because those techniques would make this behaviour a thing of the past. I feel so sorry for those children. She is definitely going to relax her kids hair in the near future and say she did it because their hair is hard to manage. Well its hard to manage because you are doing it wrong idiot!!!!


Yea a girl on LHCF started a thread about this video first! I'm glad she did because now everyone can see this garbage!

I hope someone who knows them see it online and comes foward. Just to make sure the girl is okay and there is no other abuse going on when the camera stops rolling!


I am speechless and on the verge of tears. I couldn't even watch the whole thing. Just sickening!


I hope that woman gets to read these comments so that she can see that she is a jerk.


Dear God his mother is SO STUPID!!!!

This is the age of the INTERNET. Just GOOGLE how to comb natural hair!!!

Plus she was swearing at the child. I heard her say move your fucking hands.

ILLITERACY and IGNORANCE are terribly diseases.

I am so damn ANGRY.


I don't think that the girl behind the camera deserves any credit for using "curly" vs. nappy. She was laughing while watching her own sister essentially get tortured. And when she uploaded the video on Youtube, she titled it "Nappy Ass Hair". I'm usually a peace-loving person, but I have no sympathy for someone who would abuse anyone, much less a vulnerable child, like that or to a heartless person who would stand by and find it funny. I hope someone knows her to report it to the authorities.


omg. i cannot believe my eyes or ears. that poor child.


This is why we as a people need to let go of the creamy crack. That mother has NO idea how to handle natural hair. In order for us to better handle our children's hair we must learn how to handle our own. Women who spend most of their lives perming will have less ease with natural hair. All the research in the world can only get you so far....and I don't think she did any. This woman is just hating her daughters'hair! Its because the truth is she hates her own.


WOW...she needs her ass whooped. I am sorry to say. There is no way what she was doing was right. If that was my sister doing that to my niece she had better prepare for me to bust her down...that baby was in pain. she was doing it all wrong, just crazy! and the person with the camera thought it was funny...this would be the child that is hitting other kids in preschool and noboody knows why..because of crap like this.


Somebody go get me a denman brush(i'm country, i'll clock somebody with whatever comes to mind) and a bowl of hot grits for this dumb heffa. As a mother, it annoys me to no end to see this type of behavior. Lord help that child..


i saw this on youtube the other night. it was sent to me. the one tearing this cute little girl's hair out and the one holding the camera both need their ASSEZ... BEAT! Period!! Whoever thinks that this is tolerable does too. ABUSE, ABUSE, ABUSE. the one who uploaded this video has "313" in her username. Either that's her bday or she's from the same city Im from. Shameful. I hope that girl heals physically and emotionally from this and doesnt make the crazy/sick/unhealthy decision of disliking herself. The momma and sister (whoever there heifas are) are the ones with the problems and probably jealous of the girl. Sick...


This is child abuse. I fail to find the humor in hearing that little girl cry.

It's really pathetic how that woman found it necessary to curse at her child because she lacked the ability to properly care for her hair.

That little girl is going to grow up hating her hair.


I literally couldn't get through the vieo...I had to stop it after seeing the mother hover over the little girl like Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon to brush her hair.

The whole time I watching, I am looking at the weave on the mom's hair.

I am speechless...How about wet the brush! How about Section her hair! Anything but yanking at it from the tips! I couldn't bare to finish the video.

Incredible.


The mother is probably 'hair jealous.' The little girl has a beautiful mane and her mother just couldn't take it!


the mother's name is Tiffany Dixon(maiden name) she works in the Finance Department at Costco in the detroit area her 17 year old daughter Temperence is the one recording this abuse. They live in St.clair shores MI . Child protection services in Detroit are aware of the video but without her address there is nothing that can be done they claim they can't go to peoples place of work and suggested that everone calls the St. Clair Shores Police Department in Michigan because they have an Internet investigation unit who can track down her ip address to locate where the video was uploaded because they have closed their myspace, facebooks, YouTube pages.


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