Question of The Day | Mommy

"Mommy, what's nappy hair?"
So last night, while I was preparing my hair for bed my 4 year old asked me THE question-what is nappy hair?
I paused, I swallowed, I gave the "deer in headlights" look. How do you answer this question to an impressionable 4-year old who is trying to establish a relationship with her hair?

What do you say, because whatever you say can be a defining moment in life and can really shape how she views hair and most importantly, her own.

So, after taking a few deep breaths, I kneeled down to her level and held her hands. I told her that "some people refer to tightly curled hair as nappy hair. Some people uses the word nappy as a bad word to hurt other's feelings. But you should not let anyone use that word to hurt your feelings. If someone ever say to you that you have "nappy hair". You look at them and say, "yes, my hair is beautiful."

It's never to early to try to build self esteem in our young ladies, because we are loosing the battle to the superficial-ness (is that a word?) that exists in the world. So, answering that question was so important for me, yet so nerve reckoning. HOW DID I DO? What would you say to your 4-year old given this situation?
10 Responses:

Honestly that was a superb answer and I shall copy and paste and tell my own daughter once the exact same she asks me LOL.
She's 18 months so I have a while, still working on "mama" LOL


Bravo on your response to your daughter. Important she has the tools to let others know that she's beautiful! Thx for sharing:)


I don't have kids yet, but am gearing up for when I do. My mom relaxed my hair when I was 8 because it was too NAPPY and she relaxed my little sister's hair (who is 19) at age 4!!!!!!! I was 15 and didn't know any better to ask her why?? But when I have my children, there will be no relaxer in my home until they are old enough to decide for themselves. I went a little off topic, but I LOVED your answer!!! I'm gonna have to save this response in my files.
*Few minutes later* - hubby and I are discussing how we will approach our children's hair....interesting.


Great answer! You gave her an objective definition (tightly curled hair), informed her that some people use it in a negative way, then gave her tools to deflect that negativity. There's absolutely nothing wrong with nappy hair; the problem is people who try to make others feel like there's something wrong with it!


Nice answer! Beautiful child!


You really did great! You put your emotions aside (cause I would've had to take a few breaths my doggone self) and answered her question objectively. I couldn't have imagined it done any better.
You're a great mommy!


You said it exactly as it needed to be said. I'm glad to hear that you actually took the time to think about it before immediately responding. Recognizing the potential impact is so important. Glad to hear that there are people out there becoming more aware of this. Great job!!!!!


I think u did a great job UC with your answer and approach. I wish that was the response I got when I was her age. Well done hun!


I have a 4 year old daughter and she has not asked me about her hair but she has asked me the skin color question. I applaud for the answer you gave her. I always try to remember only answer the question they ask and keep is simple. Get ready though it is only the beginning, I also have a 7 year old and the questions get harder and deeper (lol).


Great response. Wish someone told me that when I was younger.


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